I miss you
"An unexpected epilogue that somehow became one of my favourite pages. How greedily we lived it."
"In true love, the smallest distance is too great, and the greatest distance can be bridged." — Hans Nouwens
Ten days.
Ten dazzling,
dew-drenched,
daydream-drunk days.
We collected them
like curious children
collect shells along a shoreline.
Some smooth with sunlight,
some ordinary enough
to be overlooked by everyone else,
except lovers.
We were given another day.
An unexpected epilogue
that somehow became
one of my favourite pages.
How greedily we lived it.
Some small bureaucratic miracle
bloomed unexpectedly,
and suddenly the universe whispered,
keep him.
Just a little longer.
Just enough
to make leaving feel impossible,
again.
Your sleepy silhouette
wandering toward the kettle.
Your hand absentmindedly
finding the small of my back
as though it had lived there
long before I had.
The soft symphony
of your breathing
teaching the room
how peace sounds.
The suitcases are empty again.
The pillows have forgotten
your shape.
It amazes me
how absence has weight.
How it settles softly
into the furniture.
Into the floorboards.
The house keeps looking over its shoulder.
So do I.
This morning
I caught myself smiling
before remembering
there would be no sleepy voice
to answer mine.
And isn’t that the tender tragedy
of loving someone
who lives beyond the horizon?
You have gone again.
What a strange sentence.
Gone.
As though absence
could ever accurately describe
someone who has taken up residence
in every room of me.
I catch myself turning
to tell you things.
A bird balancing
on a telephone wire.
A cloud shaped
like an unfinished sonnet.
The smell of rain
arriving before the rain itself.
Tiny miracles,
all instinctively yours.
Soon,
another train
will carry me toward you.
Another platform
will become holy ground.
Another embrace
will gather up
all these scattered days
and sew them back together.
Until then,
I will carry us
the way wildflowers carry summer.
Silently,
stubbornly,
sweetly.
Close to the stem.
Close to the sun.
Close to the heart.
For love,
I have discovered,
is not the art
of never parting.
It is the miraculous discipline
of forever
finding your way
back.
If anyone has tips for long distance relationships, feel free to give them to me. I miss him. So much. And he is so nearby yet so far away. Always.
The house keeps looking over its shoulder.
So do I.
TAKE MY MONEY AND MY ADORATION 😭 No tips for long distance relationships I’m afraid since romantic relationships of any sort are terrifying to me, but when in doubt, I always say “Go to Reddit and be amazed by the wisdom therein.”
The last stanza🤝✨✨